2 Weeks Notice Blog

NaPoWriMo 2014
Day 15; Poem 16

“We Connect, Reconnect”

Is it bold of me to think that I cross your mind?
Not on some friend shit,
But on some, I wonder what she doing type shit
Is she thinking bout me too?
And if,
She is, then maybe I should hit her up

Would it be forward of me to think that you miss me?
That you envision my smile
Hear my laugh every once in a while
Could it be that while,
I’m missing you, you miss me too
I could only wish for such luck.

Cause if I had to be honest with myself
I would have to say you’ve been on my mind like lips to fine wine
Running laps through my head no Usain
Missing you so much its a shame
But I keep my thoughts to myself
And hear your voice only when I’m by myself
Thoughts lost on tidbits of your smile
And if I could just wait a while
I’m sure we’ll reconnect.

Sure we’ll get back to that place
Where chemistry and philosophy
ain’t got nothing on what’s between you and me
So deep our minds run like tunnels through the ground
Hearts intertwine and disperse, but always find their way back round
We’re linked you see
No words can describe what has no physicality
But has characteristics of being present entirely
And infinitely
This thing is real
It matters not who she is
Or what he isn’t
What matters is how you blush and don’t know it
And my eyes know my heart and show it
Whenever we meet
Whenever we
Connect

NaPoWriMo 2014
Day 14; Poem 15 (Extra!)

Dream With Me

Seeing your face gives me hope
Of my childhood fantasies come true
Don’t ever look away
Dream with me

NaPoWriMo 2014

Day 14; Poem 14

 

“Cold Monday”

 

All of the lights are on

But no one is home

Trapped within a shell of myself

My screams fall onto deaf ears

My fears

Etched between the fine lines of my face

Beneath the gleam of my smile

Hope is long gone

Nothing is as it seems

I cling desperately to the idea of better days

Days when I don’t feel so isolated

So cast out and away

Death is getting nearer

I can feel it’s cold grasp biting at my toes

I’m afraid

I haven’t done all I needed

Seen all I wanted

Loved as much as I could

I fear it will soon be me

And all I’ve left behind will be forgotten

I will be forgotten

 

 

It is hard for me to humble myself and be grateful for everything that I have been given. I often feel lost and alone, as if no one understands the things I struggle with daily. I doubt any of my friends have placed themselves in my shoes, so I doubt they understand the random outbursts of anger, flashes of sadness, or how much I try to cling to the happy moments. I see so many of my friends taking the simple things they have for granted, and I wonder if that was me a while ago. Was I so careless? So cold? So wrapped in my own false reality?

There are so many things I have to be grateful for. But everyday, it gets a little bit rougher, the chip on my shoulder gets heavier, and I struggle to maintain the balance, to stay above water. I don’t want to cry, I don’t want to break. But I need some kind of release. I am not weak. I am not. I’ve worked too hard to bring myself out of the depression that had consumed me whole. And trying to maintain this illusion of peace, of happiness, of contentment…it is tiring. I don’t have it all together. I’m afraid everyday that things will only get worse. But my faith won’t allow me to wallow in senseless pity. I know things will get worse, but they will also get better.

I have so much to be thankful for. I just cannot put it all into words. I complain on an hourly basis about how screwed up my life is. I judge other people. I think malicious thoughts, I wish ill upon others, and yet I am still alive. How is that fair? What did I ever do to deserve to live while someone younger than I, is gone within the blink of an eye. Everything is so surreal. I just cannot believe that young girl is dead. 3 Weeks before her graduation, before she completed this milestone in her life…her family, her friends, I can’t imagine how heavy their hearts and spirits must be. I barely knew her and yet my tears flow for all that she stood for, for the life that was taken from her, for all the potential, all the good she could have done in this world. Like I said, I am so grateful, but also ashamed because of my joy to be alive. It feels wrong to be glad to still be on this earth, walking, talking, breathing, living–because, she doesn’t do either of those any more. And it isn’t fair. There are so many more vicious and evil people in the world who have done far worse than she, and yet they live. That is the part i will never be able to wrap my head around. Why her? Why now? I pray peace for her spirit and family.

Life is the most precious thing we can ever have. And most will not understand, but it seems as if every time I look up, someone closer to me dies. It really feels like death is inching closer and closer to me–person by person. I just want to truly fulfill my hearts desires before my time on this earth is over. I do fear that I will not get a chance to do that. I do not want to live or act out of fear, but it’s hard when death is staring you in the face. When despair creeps into your heart at night and blurs your dreams with darkness.

I pray I get to experience those amazing feelings of real, rare, true love, uninhibited freedom and happiness before I take my last breath. That is all I have left to say.

NaPoWriMo 2014
Day 13; Poem 13

“Three Weeks”

I am so frustrated.
Nothing is going right.
I’m so tired of everything falling apart.
Graduation looms in the near future,
But all of these roadblocks are wearing me weary.
Tears lie on the brink of falling.
Three weeks.
Three long weeks.

NaPoWriMo 2014
Day 12; Poem 12

“On Edge”

My breaths are short
Heart erratically beats in my chest
Need steadily increasing
Skin vibrating with anticipation
I remember how your lips feel on mine
How your deft fingers travel with ease
I’m on edge
Only you can bring me down.

NaPoWriMo 2014
Day 11; Poem 11

“Submission”

Trust
Subservience
Pleasure
Adoration
Honesty
Love
Patience
Understanding
Pushing the the boundaries
Knocking down walls unseen
Giving myself in all ways
Relinquishing control
I want this.
With you.

NaPoWriMo 2014
Day 10; Poem 10

“I Don’t Like Him”

I don’t like him.
But I think I want him.
I could say a million things about him that turn me off
But I want to kiss and taste him
His demeanor draws me in
But his arrogance disgusts me
Am I becoming a statistic?
I really don’t like him
I don’t find him attractive
But I engage in this sexual banter
Ready for him to prove what he says is true
Maybe it’s the alcohol
Maybe its some hidden attraction
That I’ve just realized
But none the less I want him
But I don’t like him
Its an aggravated attraction
I want to slap him and then kiss him until his lips want nothing but me
But seeing him infuriates me
What is this carnal effect he has on me?
Since day one
I’ve been victim to his appearance, his swag, his presence
What is it about him
His slick tongue angers me but makes me want to outdo him
Put him on his knees and worship me
Cherish what a grace it is to be before me
Admire me, want me.
I want him to want me.
The things I want to do, I could and would do
But, I don’t like him.

Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 92 other followers

Blogs I Follow

Jodie Llewellyn

The ramblings of an aspiring YA author.

Chapter TK

“Everyone has talent. What's rare is the courage to follow it to the dark places where it leads.” ― Erica Jong

Be Like Water

Music, Film and Life

Otrazhenie

Reflection

Two Voices, One Song

Two friends taking on the world over a cup of tea - Philosophy, Creativity, Poetry and Peace

TwistedSifter

The Best of the visual Web, sifted, sorted and summarized

Sarah Smile

I dont live lavishly. But, I live happily

Shred for Less

Getting in shape while keeping things simple.

Nika Gets Fit

A fine WordPress.com site

The Overstand Podcast

"Overstand the definition, then write your own."

padholikhodilse

I write articles , Poem , Shayari , motivational thoughts ....People with heart & soul only follow me ...Love Anjali

The Dimwit Diary

A humorous website of assorted madness

chester maynes

Poetry and Poems

Book Hub, Inc.

The Total Book Experience

Playing Your Hand Right

Showing America how to Live

A collection: 2012-

im not saying im evil or anything, but i always laugh when the bad guy laughs.

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 92 other followers