Disclosure: Prince Charming (pt. 1)

Prince Charming

His love was like a gust of wind on a beautiful cloudless day. It heightened my senses and exposed me to the vastness of my own heart. And to be honest it was completely unexpected. Never did I think that my feelings would blossom into something so consuming. Into something so life changing. I never would have guessed he’d feel the same way.

This was no storybook boy-meets-girl situation. To say it was would dimish the complexity of our relationship. I worked hard to earn his love and trust, and in return he made me invaluable in his life. There were no secrets with us, no boundaries we couldn’t cross. He saw all of me, even the parts I attempted to hide. And he cherished them.

With a magnetic personality and a crooked smile he stormed into my life. Little did I know his charisma is what would catch my attention but his passion and tenacity would trap me. To know him was to love him, and I knew him better than anyone. He had me from the moment he kissed my hand and loving him became as reflexive as breathing.

I may never truly know why he chose me to give his heart to, or the exact moment he knew that there was more than just companionship between us. But I do know that even when my feelings were obvious and his own perplexed him, he remained unchanged.

Once love was claimed it was never denied, never made to be an object of shame; rather, he carried it with pride. He wiped my tears and made me laugh, he cooked for me and took me on adventures. We were young but we were on fire.

I realize now that he took care of me, protected me from almost everything that would cause me pain because he knew he couldn’t protect me from himself.

Over the years there was much confusion, longing, and heartache. But through it all there remained this inexplicable bond that reached down into my soul anchored by an immense love.

There was no fairytale ending for us though. Time and space and life, as they often do, have done their damage. But his legacy of honesty, trust, and adornment have stayed with me. He was my first love.

Nostalgia, The Beginning

nos·tal·gia

/näˈstaljə/

Noun

1. A sentimental longing for the past, typically for a period or place with happy personal associations.

How we all long to go back, even for just a moment. Go back to that time when we were happy, that time we were in love, that time we laugh so hard tears ran down our cheeks. Back, way back to when we were required to have a heading at the top of every page we wrote on, where spelling bees and field trips were the highlight of our weeks. When a playground was a field of adventure. Yes, that is how I am feeling today.

I miss those times, you know, when life was simple. When we didn’t know that we had a purpose, and didn’t care. Simplicity, yeah I miss that. I’m not so much of an adult, just 23 years old. I have experienced much, but have ten times as much to log into my memory. I sometimes wish I could just relax, be carefree, and enjoy everyday–no holds barred. Laugh until my stomach aches, go bike riding, play on a jungle gym, go swimming, play a few rounds of tag (freeze, TV, monkey, just to make a few). And then go to sleep and wake up for a new day, just to do it all again.

I don’t want bills, stress, anger, confusion, and fear. I wish I could pack all these up in a bag and ship it to Timbuktu for someone else to have to deal with.

I know this is just the beginning of my nostalgia though, it’s bound to get more intense as the week progresses…I’m going to sincerely miss everyone I have come to call friend, everyone I love, everyone I deem a sister or brother, I’m gonna miss “The Crew”. *Sigh*

But today is such a beautiful day, and I am happy, though reminiscent.

Remember your childhood, that ignorant bliss…it keeps you young.

Ciao. ❤