The Love Me Challenge

I am challenging myself to Love Me. I live on myself more than I have in the past, but there are still some parts that need to be held and adorned—I need to make it a daily practice.

My confidence is not where I’d like it to be, and my faith is a bit shaken. I’ve been feeling this coming on for a while now, and today was kind of a wake up call for me—I need to isolate myself. I truly need to break this habit of self sabotage, self abuse, and neglect that I have been in since my teenage years. I’ve strayed so far from where I was and where I was heading, and I’m not okay with that. I need serious grounding, emotional reset, and spiritual recharge in order to get my life back on track. Something has to change, and it’s within me.

So, I’ve decided to take a hiatus from the world (mostly) and unplug (from society)—in other words, I am fasting from things that I feel are unhealthy for me and are hindering my growth, while turning my attentions inward.

I intend to use this time to ground myself spiritually, find the joy in just existing, get in tune with my intuition, and love myself unconditionally.

Here are the guidelines I will follow for the next 30 Days…

1. D A I L Y:

• Journal — Online or in Notebook
• Mediate 15+ Mins
• Spend Time Outdoors
• Read (a physical book)

2. S E L F – L O V E:

Mon.–Weds.–Fri.:

• Art Stuff (create, work on brand, etc.)
• Workout

Tues.–Thurs.:

• Creative Writing
• Self Improvement: Spiritual/Mental/Emotional Work

3. E L I M I N A T E:

• Social Media
• Negative Thinking
• Television/Movies (unless with friends)
• Poor Eating Habits
• Dating
• Sex* (one exception: Lil Yea vacay)
• Frivolous Spending

4. C U T B A C K:

• Vice Indulgence
• Counter-productive/Negative Convos
• Fast Food/Junk
• Over Extending Self to Others

5. G O A L S:

• Improve mental, spiritual, emotional, and physical health
• Gain confidence
• Save Money
• Gain clarity on my purpose
• To Create
• Declutter mentally/emotionally and Unblock spiritually

So here’s to a productive and love-filled 30 days!

Ciao, for now.

– Elle 💋

Poem: Today I Bathed in the Rain

Today I bathed in the rain

Stood still beneath sporadic droplets as they collided with my skin

Cleansing tears of the earth washed away my shame and sin.

Today I smiled wide

Vibrated with new life as old life returned home

Coated my insecurity and doubt with purifying beads of hope.

I bathed in The Rain—life force of my ancestry

Shivered as cascading tears released all that is not of me

Cathartic laughter tickling my vocal chords amid the thunderous downpour intensity

It revealed life surrounding and love rooted deep within me.

Come dance with us, sing with us, wild and free

I hesitate—mind unsure, spirit steady.

I reach my hands above me, palms open wide

Head thrown back in joy, I smile into the sky.

Greeting and thanking those who came before me.

Thank them for their return, their sacrifice, their love—honoring them with my heart and spirit and body.

Essence of their souls send chills down my spine with each falling bead

I feel our connection, I am grateful and humbled that you came when I need.

All that I am, is because of all they lived and fought for

In my heart, you are here with me—dancing and healing, restored.

I emerged renewed and rebuilt, forever changed

Today I bathed my soul, in the rain.

Selfish and Liking It.

I’ve realized a few things recently. I have surrounded myself with the wrong people.

Not that there is anything wrong with these folks, I mean I love them all individually, but they are not exactly what I need right now. I’m beginning to realize that this may be part of the reason why God needed me to leave Louisiana. At this point in my life, the people I was surrounded by were not the people I needed for the journey that I am on and for the place that I am in.

Right now I need strong, supportive people, but not people who I can and will use as a crutch. My friends are all amazing, but I know that I have a habit of using them as excuses to get out of doing what I know is best for me. And that, even though I truly do not mind, is a bad thing. For right now anyway. I have to make some personal progress and change. And that means focusing solely on myself and what I need.

I have to be selfish.

Selfishness is something I grew up knowing to be a bad thing. But now that I am an adult I realize that it is necessary at times; sometimes you just need to be by yourself to make sure that you are where you need to be. Focusing on myself is hard for me because I am so used to worrying about others and making other people a priority. I am seeing now how much a bad thing that is. I have to learn to do for me first.

I’ve got to start taking care of myself, no one else is doing it and no one else will. I need to get my isht together.

Me time is something I value, but I usually reserve that for a day, maybe a weekend, but that isn’t good enough any more. I need to make this extensive and permanent. I have no intentions of changing my giving and loving nature, but I need to make sure that I give to myself and nurture myself before I do those things for other people.

As I always say, “you are the only person who you will have to be around for the rest of your life”.

FCHW.

Ciao.